


Temptation and Redemption

by MrsRen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 18:25:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13487160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsRen/pseuds/MrsRen
Summary: It has been nearly a year since the end of The Last Jedi when General Leia Organa falls in a First Order attack, leaving Rey to deliver the devastating news to her surviving son. The Force Bond reopens their old wounds, forcing Ben to come to terms with his choices.





	Temptation and Redemption

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: General Leia is killed in a First Order attack, leaving Rey to deliver the devastating news.

It had been far too long since the first moment he’d touched her, in a hut through a shared vision on Ach-To. It had been the one instance he’d been able to feel her skin slid against his, a sensation that was aphrodisiac to him, and he’d discovered the one thing in the galaxy that could bring him to his knees. 

 

He hadn’t caught a glimpse of her in months, not since close to half a year ago when his knights had intercepted a band of Rebels on a mission on the outskirts of the Outer Rim. The scavenger had been among them, the traitor and the pilot close to her side. As Master of the Knights of Ren, he’d called them away from the group that escaped aboard the Millennium Falcon. 

 

Even if he hadn’t been strong in the Force, he would have felt their shock, the confusion that Kylo Ren had stopped what should have been a kill order. The Knights, however confused they had been, were loyal to him. 

 

Neither of them could control the bond between them, a connection that should have been severed once Snoke was murdered. If anything, his death made the bond stronger, sealed between the two force users. Their bond was dangerous for him. If the First Order were to uncover he had a direct link to the last goddamn Jedi in the galaxy, he could only imagine the fallout. 

 

He could hear General Hux now, could envision his pointed nose stuck in the air as he raged on. As Kylo Ren, a Sith Lord who had become the Supreme Leader of the First Order, he should be vicious. A force to  contend with, and if the general were to ever discover he’d saved the girl’s life, he’d be fighting against the entirety of his command as a sole man. 

 

The thought didn’t stop him. All these months ago, he’d been blunt in the truth that he didn’t care for the Sith or the Jedi. He wasn’t a Sith, a fact that vibrated in his bones each time he made the mistake of thinking of it. 

 

His own quarters were silent he thought as he sat at the foot of his bed. His leather gloves had been discarded, tossed somewhere behind him amongst the blankets, accompanied by his shirt. He gulped down water from the canteen in his right hand. The only outlet he had to escape his thoughts over the addiction he couldn’t quite kick was to train. Relentlessly. Against multiple opponents at once, constantly pushing himself. 

 

It was as he chunked the empty container across the room, hearing the metal skid across his dresser, that the world slowed down. It still took him by surprise every time. It made him choke on his anticipation at the fact that she was going to appear in front of him any minute. A smirk had planted itself on his face, until he felt it. 

 

A strong disturbance in the Force, the same feeling that had engulfed him as Han Solo fell from the catwalk on Starkiller Base. His fingers reached for the skin above his heart, and he scratched his chest, a sharp breath passing between his lips. “Ben.” Her voice was urgent, and his head snapped up to see her barely standing. She was hunched over, her right hand over her stomach as she put pressure on her wound.

 

“You’re alive.” His whisper was strangled, as he stood to his feet. “I thought you had,” 

 

“Not me, Ben.” She told him. “I don’t think I have very long. I’ve never been able to reach out to you first.” He stared at her, baffled that she had come to him. Just the words had his heart hammering in his chest. “Leia’s gone.” 

 

“What?” He demanded. “How could she have?” 

 

“There was an attack from the First Order, but I didn’t think it was you who ordered it.” She told him, the faith she’d placed in him was staring him in the face. “I know it wasn’t you.” She finished. 

 

“Where are you going?” She shook her head. “Rey, let me come to you.” 

 

“I can’t. I’m fleeing with the Resistance, and I can’t lead you to them.” The crash behind her caused her to whirl, her lightsaber igniting just as she did, ending the vision abruptly.

 

The pain in his chest hadn’t dulled. It felt more as if a knife had been forced between his ribs, and twisted. Killing his father shouldn’t have been easy, but it had been. Killing his mother was something he could have never done. Snoke, when he’d still been his master, had known that he couldn’t pull the trigger. 

 

There was only one other individual on this damned ship that Snoke would have told, which would have been an effort to damage the man’s already crumbling pride. 

 

He grabbed the shirt, sliding it over his head quickly. Ben snatched the gloves from the middle of the bed, his hands curling into fists in the familiar leather. 

 

He stormed down the hallway, his lips curved into a cruel smile as a group of stormtroopers turned away from the sight of him. The command center was quiet with General Hux standing at the front of it, his arms crossed behind his back and his feet planted six inches apart. 

 

“General.” He snarled, storming up the stairs to come to stand beside him. Hux flinched at his voice, already turning to walk away. “Do not move.” 

 

“Lord Ren,” He began. 

 

“You thought I wouldn’t know.” Ren started in a lazy voice. “As if I wouldn’t feel her death. She was my mother, you know.” 

 

Hux snorted, despite the horror on his face. “Yes, your mother.” He sneered. “She was the leader of the Resistance, their beacon of hope. While I hadn’t planned for her to die in the attack on their base, you’ll understand I’m not disappointed.” The general gasped for air as his leader’s hand closed around his throat. “Is this about the scavenger girl, Ren? You’ve always let your personal interests cloud your judgement.” 

 

“What girl?” He responded cooly. “The only problem here is that you answer to me, not yourself.” The crew members surrounding them tried to keep their eyes away from the two, one of which that could die if Ren only squeezed a fraction harder. 

 

“The scavenger that you and your precious Knights let escape with information that should have been ours.” He gasped. “It wasn’t the last jedi who killed the Supreme Leader; it was you. Only you could have slaughtered the Praetorian guards, not some jedi whore.” 

 

There was a loud crack as Ben slammed Hux into the hard floor, hearing his spine crack on impact. “Snoke was a puppet master who made the mistake of touching what was mine.” He growled, storming away. There was nothing stopping him from choking the life from the ginger haired man who was still gasping for air, but the faster he could escape this ship would be better for him. 

 

It had only been a matter of time before his loyalties were discovered.

 

* * *

 

The Resistance was in tatters. Rey sat aboard the Falcon, her fingers kept drifting towards the bloodied bandage across the right side of her stomach. General Leia had gone out like the hero Rey had realized she was a million times over. Gone down fighting against the enemy, with a blaster. 

 

In the moment, Rey hadn’t given the thought of how this was how the general had imagined her life ending. She’d only kept repeating that they had to save her, they had to dive headlong into danger. 

 

Leia Organa had given her life for the Resistance, in a move eerily similar to her twin’s, for the chance that the majority of the survivors might escape. Chewie had carried Rey onto the Falcon; she was losing far too much blood to walk herself. 

 

To leave the General had meant watching her sacrifice herself, and to take her meant betraying her trust. For Rey to keep going, it also meant fulfilling Leia Organa’s last wish and unfortunately, it likely meant explaining her connection to Ben Solo. She wanted her son to come home, to leave the First Order. 

 

So, she’d found a way to reach out to him. She’d felt how startled he was, then the inkling of hope that trickled into him. And then she’d felt that soul crushing sort of pain no one should ever feel alone. 

 

“Explain this again.” Finn’s voice was hard as he stared at her from across the table. “You communicate with Kylo Ren?” He’d been speaking in broken sentences since she’d dropped the bombshell two minutes ago. 

 

“I call him Ben, but yes.” Poe hadn’t said a damn thing, bad or otherwise at her sudden revelation. “We’ve been able to since I found Master Luke on Ach-To.” 

 

“Dammit, Rey!” Finn slammed his hand down on the table. “That was a year ago.” She nodded at his outburst. “He’s a monster.” 

 

“I told him that actually. He agreed.” She took a sip from the glass, if you could call it that, of water in front of her. “Moving onto the next thing you’re not going to believe, I didn’t kill Snoke. No, that was Ben too.” 

 

“Why were you even there?” To her surprise, Finn’s voice could get even louder. 

 

“Well, I went to him. On my own.” She added. “We saw visions of the others future before that. It’s how I knew he was losing to the dark side.” 

 

“This isn’t happening. This is insane. His name isn’t Ben, Rey.” 

 

She continued, not willing to argue about his given or chosen name right this second. “Snoke tortured me, and then Ben killed him. Snoke had set my lightsaber on the armrest of his chair. Ben used the Force to turn it and ignite it, and cut him in half. We fought off Snoke’s guards together.” 

 

“Are you hearing any of this, Dameron?” Finn shoved the pilot’s shoulder, who only glared at him. “And what, he just let you walk away after all of this?” 

 

“No, actually," she said, as she gazed thoughtfully at the space before her. "He asked me to come with him and create a new order for the galaxy. I refused as politely as I could, of course, and then I knocked him unconscious.”

 

“When did you last speak with him?” Poe finally asked. 

 

Rey picked at her nails on top of the table, averting her eyes. “Right before Chewie carried me onto the ship.” Finn yelled something she couldn’t understand and Poe just leaned back in his chair. “His mother had died. I wanted to tell him.”

 

“Yes, because that asshole just cares so much about his parents.” Finn spat. “What did he say to you? Let me guess, he laughed?” 

 

“He thought I was the one who died, and he was a wreck, Finn.” She didn’t hold herself back from throwing the comment at him. “He didn’t order the attack, but I’m sure he knows who did. He asked me to tell him where I was going.” 

 

“But you didn’t.” 

 

“No, I wouldn’t lead him to the Resistance, but once we find a base I’m going to leave.”  

 

“Rey,” 

 

“I’m the only one he has in this entire galaxy, Finn. He’s not who you think he is.” Her friend grumbled something beneath his breath. “I’d at least like to know what he has to say.” 

* * *

  
  


There hadn’t been any time to settle into a base to help her comrades fashion a base on an old deserted planet. No, because she’d already heard the bounty on his head sent out to the entire galaxy. If she hadn’t heard it with her own two ears, she would have never believed it, but it was there. 

 

Kylo Ren was a wanted fugitive from the First Order, ex Supreme Leader. Any information of his whereabouts or of the scavenger named Rey from Niima Outpost of Jakku would be rewarded. She’d looked at Finn and Poe, shaking her head. They would have come with her, despite the mutual hatred for the likes of Kylo Ren. 

 

And so, she’d reached out for him, from within her quarters on the base. Outside of her, rebels were flitting around to get the base up and running. Their connection was swift, linking them together instantaneously. “I assume you’ve heard there’s a bounty on both of our heads now.” She started. 

 

“I’ve been made aware.” He replied. “It’s best you come to me. The Resistance can’t protect you. At worst they could turn you over.” 

 

Rey sighed, standing to her feet. “I know. I’ve already had to explain our connection, and I’m positive everyone on the base already knows.” A shadow passed behind him, another man, but she couldn’t see him as clearly as the man in front of her. Her eyes narrowed. “Who the hell is with you?” 

 

His lips curved into a smirk. “While the First Order might be out for my head, the Knights of Ren are still loyal to me.” 

 

She scoffed. “Oh, wonderful. You have a team of bodyguards, and I have a wookie.” She paused. “You know, I’d take Chewie any day actually.” 

 

“Would he come with you?” He asked her, lacing his fingers together. The leather wrapped around his fingers creaked as he curled his fingers. 

 

“It’s likely. He has his own reasons, but I think it might be better for him to stay while I’m gone.” Rey watched as his eyes narrowed dangerously. She could see the thoughts going through his mind. 

 

“You’re not going back to the Resistance.” His voice was rough. 

 

“I’m not going to run away from this. They killed Leia, and they attacked my home, my friends.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I understand if you don’t come with me, Ben, but I can’t disappear with you.” 

 

He looked anywhere but her face, and her eyes were drawn to his right hand as it fell to his side, and curled into a fist. 

 

“The truth is that I think we’re far better together.” She began, her heart hammering when his eyes snapped back to the sight of her. “I think that we’re safer together, but I can’t be with you if it means leaving the Resistance. I have to fight this fight.” 

 

“When did it become your fight, Rey? You’re from Jakku, where none of this ever touched you before you met that damn BB unit.” It was a snarl. 

 

“It’s been my fight since the First Order tried to blow up Finn, since you carried me onto that ship and I  _ woke up _ .”

 

“Oh,” He laughed dryly. “So it’s my fault now.” 

 

She folded her arms across her chest, storming towards him, even though they couldn’t touch one another. “I woke up.” She repeated. “I never had my family, and I hardly had anything to live for besides the hope they might come back for me. The general gave me hope, and I won’t let that die with her.” 

 

“So as you say, my choices are to stay on my own, or come with you.” 

 

“I’ll come to you, Ben, but I won’t stay forever. The only way this ends well for us is if the Resistance burns the First Order down.” He glared at her. “Who ordered the attack?” 

 

“General Hux.” He bit out. “Send me your coordinates.” 

 

“Not a chance. Send me yours, I’ll meet you. I don’t believe you’d come so willingly.” She told him. “Or I could meet one of your knights.” She offered the alternative. “I’ve already told the Resistance I’m leaving.” 

 

“What do they make of that?” 

 

“They’re in shock for the moment, but I’ve been told that if what I say is true, and you were to come with me, it could give us an edge we need.” He bit down on his lip harshly, breaking the skin. “Stop that.” She scolded. 

 

“I don’t give a shit about the Jedi, or the Sith. The First Order, or the fucking Resistance.” He growled the words. “But I won’t stop you, and I’d rather not leave you.” Her eyes widened. His anger at the situation rolled off of him, his unwillingness, down to his confusion on what would follow. 

 

“You’ll come?” 

 

“On my terms, if they are met, which I will discuss with whoever the hell they put in my mother’s place.” Rey nodded, her mouth dry. “This war is going to end; it has to.” She nodded, hesitant at the look in his eyes. The sheer determination scared her, and she recognized it immediately from a year ago in the fight for their lives. 

 

The exact same look from the exact moment he’d stared at her during a fight against three guards when one nearly bested her. A shiver ran down her spine. 

 

* * *

 

He’d thought her idea was probably for the best, and advised one of the Knights of Ren to meet her in Corellia. Chewie has accompanied her to the rendezvous point, and they had left the Falcon on Endor in the hands of the Rebels. Had they taken it, someone would have tipped off the bounty hunters immediately. 

 

It was in the middle of Han Solo’s home, that she came face to face with the knight, who had ditched his helmet. She absently wondered if the rest of them had followed the example of their leader. It would serve them well if they wanted to move throughout the systems without being identified. 

 

After all, who all had seen any of the knights without their masks? 

 

“Chewie, I’ll contact you.” He disagreed immediately. “I’ll be back before you know it. The Resistance needs you more than I do right now.” 

 

The wookie took another look at the male knight behind Rey, who towered over her, and growled a thinly veiled threat. “Of course.” He replied, his voice low and smooth. “I will see to it that no harm comes to this woman. I didn’t need you tell me, since I already have orders from Lord Ren.” 

 

“When you see Finn, tell him that I’m still sorry.” Chewie nodded, and boarded his ship once more. “I’m assuming he’s not in Corellia.” 

 

“He is not.” 

 

His eyes were more fathomless than Ben’s had ever been, but the rest of him was light. Light blond hair skimmed his shoulders, and his eyes were a bright blue. They were mesmerizing, as if they could see into her thoughts. The unfamiliar presence caused her eyes to shoot open, for her to take two steps back as she came to the realization that he was a force user. Like her, but well versed. She held her breath as he looked her over, his jaw having gone slack as he stared as if she hadn’t been the person he’d just met. 

 

Rey cleared her throat. “I have to say I’m surprised you’ve stuck with him, considering he’s coming to the Resistance. You follow the legacy of Darth Vader as a Knight of Ren, do you not?” He sent her a sharp look, while he took her by her elbow, tugging her down to where a small ship, fit for perhaps ten passengers, had been docked. 

 

“Do you always ask so many questions?” He closed the door of the ship, leading her to the seat in the front as he took the controls. 

 

“Only if it’s something I can’t understand.” 

 

“Fine. I was loyal the the Supreme Leader Snoke, and then to Kylo Ren, who was the de facto leader.” 

 

“Who has taken control of the First Order now?” She sunk into her seat while she interrupted him. 

 

“General Hux has taken over, and he’s the one who issued the bounties.” She nodded, looking straight ahead as they took the jump to hyperspace. “The Knights knew the truth behind Snoke’s death before Armitage Hux ever had his doubts. I saw you once before, you were with the traitor and that pilot. In the outer rim. Lord Ren was there, and he told us to stay away from you. It didn’t take much to realize what had happened.” 

 

Her lips parted. “I had no idea he was there.” 

 

“He preferred it that way.” He replied. “I’m not one of the ‘good’ guys, but none of us would have followed orders from that general or whoever he decided to put in Ren’s place. Lord Ren informed us what had happened once he escaped the First Order, and he renounced his title. We followed him anyways.” 

 

“I see.” 

 

They were silent as he piloted the ship, landing on a barren planet that looked to be made of ice. “He could have told me I was coming to a planet made of ice.” She muttered under her breath. 

 

There was a soft chuckle beside her as the knight shrugged out of his thick, wool cowl. He wore a thin shirt beneath it. “Put this on. It’s not a far walk.” 

 

“Then I’ll live; keep this.” He shook his head, tossing it over his head. She followed him out of the ship, testing whether she would slip before she stepped off the ramp. “Of all the places in the Galaxy, why here?” 

 

“This isn’t where we were hiding.” He informed her, keeping a hand near the hilt of his weapon. “This is the planet Ilum. Within the planet there are crystals made to use to create lightsabers.” She hummed at this response, her grip tight around the hilt of her own lightsaber. It had belonged to Luke Skywalker, and clearly Ben meant for her to make her own. 

 

He led her into a cave where she could hear the crackling of a fire. Ben sat behind the fire, seated on a hard rock with his hands clasped in front of him. Rey looked around the cave, taking in the appearance of the other five knights. She said nothing, choosing to stand in place and hold her hands out to the fire. 

 

“Leave us.” The knights stood at once, following the tall man who had led her here out the entrance of the cave. 

 

“Do they have anywhere warm to stay?” She asked him, her eyebrows knitting together. “The one who brought me here, he gave me his cowl. I should take it back to him.” 

 

“They’re staying in a temple here.” He informed her. “It’s warm there. We’re staying in the cave because the temple is the first place the First Order would look for us on this planet.” She nodded. “Sit here.” 

 

Rey walked around the fire slowly, coming to take a seat beside him, their knees nearly knocking together. “Why do I need a different lightsaber?” She smiled when he looked surprised. He should have known she’d have kept using it after she reassembled it. “Your knight told me; I should have got his name. Seems they’re loyal to you, but he was very informative.” 

 

She looked him over, reaching out to brush a stray piece of hair from his forehead. Through the bond, she felt his apprehension ebb away as he sighed in relief. “I’m sorry about your mother.” She whispered to him, and his pain was a sharp stab in her side as he focused on the fire in front of him. 

 

He cleared his throat, ridding himself of any emotions before speaking to her. “You would move better if you had a double ended lightsaber. I’ve seen you move with that staff through your memories.” She grumbled that he should have never delved into her head, but he said nothing. 

 

“Alright.” Her voice was soft as another conversation was had in their silence. Ben didn’t completely close himself off to her, but she realized he would have never discussed this with her anyways. It was raw from within him, the kind of grief that tore you down. The kind she thought, rather absently, that had the power to change you. 

 

“The wookie didn’t come with you?” She’d noticed how he never referred to him as Chewie, a name he had to know the entire time he’d grown up. It gnawed at her that perhaps he was distancing himself from the hurt. 

 

“He wanted to, but the Resistance needs him more than I do right now. I’m safe where I am.” Rey’s voice was soft, barely heard over the crackling fire. “I want to go back as soon as possible.” 

 

“I figured you’d be in a rush.” He spit out the words. 

 

“There’s no way of knowing how soon the First Order will find our base, and they could destroy us.” 

 

“Where did they make the base?” 

 

She shrugged off the question, choosing to let him see once they touched down together. In the case he chose to stay on his own, she couldn’t risk all they had left. “When do we go hunting for crystals?” He sighed. 

 

“Will you always be impatient?” She gave a shrug. “We can go now.” He told her and she stood to her feet once more. 

 

“You don’t have to do this, Ben.” She reminded him gently. “I won’t force you to come.” 

 

He stood in front of her, looking down from his height. She watched, anticipating his next move as he slipped his glove from his right hand. Her gasp slipped between her teeth as he cupped her cheek in his hand. Her eyes were blown open like doors. “I’m not loyal to either cause, Rey.” His voice rumbled in his throat. “I made a mistake when I caused you to leave a year ago.” 

 

She watched numbly as he kneeled in front of her, taking her hand in his own. “The only person I will be loyal to is you, if you’ll have me. So, if that means fighting for your cause, I’m willing.” Rey nodded, thinking once more, that words did have the power to change you. 

* * *

  
  


The caves of Ilum were nearly void of crystals now, she soon learned. Ben followed her inside, his lightsaber strapped to his belt. He had explained from within the cave that she would choose the crystal to make her own lightsaber, but that if she were to make a double ended saber, she’d likely need more than one crystal. 

 

He spoke of a Darth Maul, whose double ended lightsaber had required four crystals and days of meditation. Ben said nothing else of the Sith Lord, aside from the fact he was already dead. 

 

She thought of herself as lucky when she found crystals in a purple hue, something altogether separate from the Jedi’s typical colors, and something she hadn’t realized she was looking for. At the sight of the crystals in her hands, Ben told her of Mace Windu, a Jedi Knight from the past, during the time of Anakin Skywalker, least to say, he was already dead. 

 

The cowl was still wrapped around her shoulders as he led her to the temple. As they climbed the steps, the knights stood to attention, moving to stand outside of the entrance. She pulled the wrap from her shoulders, and handed it to the knight whose name she still didn’t know, but it was doubtful he’d be forthcoming anyways. 

 

She sat on the stone floor, staring at the crystals and the materials in front of her. With a look over her shoulder, she saw Ben return to the entrance, leaving her to meditate alone. 

 

Rey sighed. 

* * *

  
  


She spent several days inside the temple, seated neatly with her legs crossed as she meditated. Ben continued to stand by the entrance, his back to the inside wall and his arms folded across his chest. 

 

Rey didn’t have to see him to know he was there, or how he stood watch. She could feel through the force as she focused on the crystals. In the room all she heard was her low, steady breathing. 

 

She’d never been particularly patient, but this end result had been worth the wait, and the mind numbing meditation and silence. She looked over her shoulder, bending to pick the saber from the floor after she’d assembled it.

 

Rey tilted her head to the side as he told the Knights of Ren to leave them, and she watched as they walked down the steps. He walked towards her, walking her backwards to the middle of the room once more. “What are you doing?” She asked him, but he said nothing. The sound of his lightsaber igniting echoed through the empty room and she jumped backwards, twirling the staff in her hand as either side jutted out. “You could have just told me.” 

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” He drawled. 

 

Fighting against him was nothing like fighting with him. Fighting with him was like a practiced dance, one she’d done for the entirety of her life, two parts of one whole. There was something ridiculously romantic about the thought of two halves, but she pushed it out of her mind, spinning to block his oncoming attack. 

 

No, fighting against him was nothing like that. 

 

It was  _ better _ . It was exhilarating, the way her heart was hammering in her chest, or the way she always side stepped his attacks. She’d long since noticed that Ben was far more graceful with his attacks, cold and calculating when he needed to be. But something in both of them came alive while they were constantly moving around the other. 

 

It was she who fought with a vicious edge, from the way she stuck her foot out to cause him to stumble to the way she twirled the saber upwards at a nearly unblockable angle. She fought like she needed to win and it was the only option. A notion she’d no doubt picked up from the corners of his mind, in the fleeting moments she slipped into his mind while he was training. 

 

But he had too many years of training on her, and their sparring match was turning in his favor as he forced her backwards and her back was about to meet the wall. 

 

Rey did the only thing she could think of to throw him off, something she’d only done on the Finalizer after he’d taken her from the forests of Takodana. She reached out with her opposite hand, pushing past his walls, his defenses, like she had in that interrogation room that was so far away now. 

 

His thoughts were laid out in front of her, his memories-

 

-They weren’t memories at all. She stared at him, her eyes wide while her chest rose and fell with each heavy breath. They were  _ fantasies _ . Ben, by the way he disengaged his lightsaber who he was in the moment, didn’t move as he panted. She saw herself the way he’d imagined her: laid out beneath him in a bed, her hair undone and spiraling down her back. 

 

Fuck, her legs wrapped around his waist and her nails raking down his back. “Ben.” She whispered his name without another thought. Her lightsaber clattered against the floor as he seized her in one moment, picking her up and pushing her into the nearest wall. Her fingers tangled in his hair as his mouth came down on hers. Ben pushed his knee in between her thighs, spreading them and lifting her to wrap them around his waist in one movement. 

 

Her name tumbled from his lips, and her legs tightened around him in return. Her lightsaber had fallen and disengaged several steps away from where he’d pinned her to the wall. She whispered his name once more, pulling on his hair to slant her lips against his own again. 

 

He groaned, his fingers tracing circles over the soft flesh that had been exposed by her tunic. “Rey.” Overtaken by her own lust, something she’d only felt once or twice on Jakku, she pushed her hips against where they were pressed together. A growl left him, partly from the delicious friction and partly at the thought of another man ever having touched her. 

 

“Shut up.” She hissed, clawing at his robes, and his shirt beneath them. “They’re not the ones touching me now, are they?” He held her by the strands of her hair, pulling her flush against him and kissing her roughly. A moan tumbled from her sweet lips as he nipped at her bottom lip, his eyes open while he watched the effect he had on her. 

 

If she’d had the time to step back and think about the situation, was an abandoned Jedi temple the place to do this? Well, no, but she couldn’t bring herself to care at all as she undid the buttons on the front of his shirt and slid her palms against his hard chest. 

 

“Not going to tell me to put a cowl on this time?” She glared at him for his comment and his ridiculous smirk. Instead of unwrapping the fabric concealing her upper half, he opted to tear it off of her, letting it float to the floor. 

 

“What the hell? We’re on a planet made of ice!” She growled at him, her back arching against the cold wall. “You didn’t have to rip that off.” 

 

“I wanted to see you.” She shivered at the sound of his voice. It was low and sensual, the tone she’d only heard in fantasies of her own that she only indulged in the shower and the confines of her own bedroom. 

 

“Ben,” She choked on her own lust, as she clung to him. They had both been lonely, both searching for far too long. Her head fell backwards against the wall as his tongue traced the swell of her breast. Her chest rose and fell with her heavy breaths as she pressed her hips to his, seeking that friction once more. She forced her head up again, watching as his mouth closed over the hardened peak and he sucked on it gently, nipping it with his teeth when it made her cry out. 

 

He murmured her name as he kissed between her breasts, moving to tear the ridiculous gloves from his hands. “God.” She shuddered as his hands came to cup her breasts, his thumbs stroking across their centers. “I, more.” She couldn’t manage a full sentence as she smashed her lips to his again. Desperate wasn’t a word to describe him, she’d thought, but right then, as he had her pinned against a wall it was the only word that came to mind. He kissed her as if the first time might be the only chance he got. 

 

There had always been a war waging inside of him, between the dark and the light. Rey could feel the matter of the fact that right this moment, there was no dark, no light, only her, and she could have wept for the emotions sweeping through her. Was this what it felt like to be cherished? To be completely consumed by another person? 

 

She gazed with hooded eyes as Ben set her down, unfastening her pants and pushed them into a pile on the floor. The cool air hit her legs as he lifted her once more. She could only think of one thing at the moment and it was that he was going to fuck her against this wall. 

 

Rey reached down with trembling hands, doing the same as he had done to her, and took his hard length into her hand. Ben hissed at the contact, burying his face in the curve of her neck as she stroked him, swiping her thumb across the tip of his erection. 

 

She nearly came undone when he reached between her legs to stroke her soft folds, his index finger rubbing against the bundle of nerves. “Oh.” She whimpered. “God, that feels incredible.” Her back spasmed as he slowly slid one finger inside of her, whispering how was was going to take her against this wall. 

 

“Good.” She managed between shaky breaths. “Should have done it sooner.” 

 

“You always have some sarcastic reply, don’t you? Did you know that you have awful control over you side of the bond? You constantly project your thoughts, your feelings.” 

 

“Oh? Maybe I wanted you to know how I felt. And that it hurt like hell when I walked away, Ben.” Rey replied to him, pressing herself into his fingers as he added a another. 

 

“Maybe so, but did you also know that I’ve seen every filthy dream you’ve had?” She froze, looking at him as red pooled in her cheeks. 

 

“You’re lying.” 

 

“Not even close.” His fingers curled inside of her, against her wall and she moaned once more. “I’ve seen them all. Where you’ve dreamed I was between your legs, but it was my tongue making you cry out. I’ve seen the memory where you reached between your legs to play with your dripping cunt, but you wished it had been me.” 

 

She gasped. “Asshole.” 

 

“I can give that to you, all of it, Rey. I can make you scream for me, take you to the edge over and over again until you just can’t take it anymore.” 

 

“Another time.” She gasped again. “I need you right now, Ben. God, I just need you inside me.” A wicked smile crossed his face as he positioned himself in front of entrance. 

 

Ben took his time, pushed into her slowly and watched her head fall back against the stone wall, watched the way her eyes rolled back while she took every torturous inch. Her name kept falling from him lips. She writhed beneath him, reaching around his torso to rake her nails down his back. 

 

“Fucking hell.” He murmured once he was fully inside of her. Her aching core was gripping him tightly as he slid out of once more, and thrust forward slowly. If she ever had been with a man, it had been a long time since. She was as tight as she would have been had she been a virgin, and he dared not mistakenly hurt her. “You’re perfect.” He whispered the words into her neck, kissing the soft flesh there and biting down. 

 

She cried out about not leaving a mark, but he didn’t listen. Her protests melted into delicious moans as he left a mark on her neck. “That shouldn’t feel so good.” She choked out. “More.” Rey told him as she forced him closer with her legs. 

 

Ben entered her roughly, hard and fast that time and she whimpered his name. She whispered to him that he felt incredible, that she’d never get enough of him. 

 

Their bond made the experience surreal. She felt every last emotion he felt, and so did he. She could feel how he thought she was exquisite, what with her hair coming out of their rubber bands, and stuck to her face with sweat. She could feel how he never wanted to leave this abandoned planet, but that he’d follow her wherever she went. 

 

Ben Solo was the only person in this galaxy that she trusted with everything, and he knew it. Knew her nightmares, her dreams, her hopes, and it made him crazy. “Don’t leave again.” He told her as he thrusted into her, slamming into her to listen to her soft mewls of pleasure. “Wherever you go, I will go. You’re the only one I don’t want to leave behind.” 

 

His black hair was soft as she wrapped it around her fingers, tugging him closer to whisper to him as her release approached her. “I’m not.” She whispered. “I want you, no matter what. I’m yours.” 

 

“I’ve been yours.” She ran her fingers across his cheek, taking a long moment to take in the devotion he felt for her. 

 

“I know that.” Her voice was softer than a whisper, carried away by her heavy breathing. She could feel the swelling of his emotions through the bond, and she knew it was the closest they would come to saying three little words for a long time. “I won’t leave, I swear to God.” 

 

He reached between their bodies to rub her clit once more, building the pressure until she moaned, low in her throat. “Oh, my God. Ben!” She shattered around him, screaming his name and her nails raking down his back. 

 

* * *

 

On the planet of Endor, the rebels had sprawled across the tarmac. She could see their anxious faces from the window where she was standing, with Ben directly behind her. “You’re nervous.” His voice was a low rumble. 

 

The other knights sat around a table in the middle of the ship. Carder Ren, the knight who had delivered her to Ren, piloted with another female knight. The ship was silent save for her own conversation. There was the low hum of the engine that seemed to soothe her the tiniest bit. 

 

“Terrified is a better word.” She replied. They had left Ilum after a night’s sleep, a night she’d hardly slept because Ben had no qualms of sinking himself into her even if the knights were close by. She’d slept a few hours at the most, but it would have been that way whether he’d kept her up or not. Her stomach was in knots; she’d thought to herself that she might vomit the entire way here. 

 

“Would you prefer me to leave?” He asked her quietly, leaning down to her. “I tried to murder your friend, I remember. I’m sure he’ll be the first one in line to take my head off.” 

 

She shook her head. “No, well, no I don’t want you to leave. But yes, Finn will probably be angry with me, and by extension, furious with you.” 

 

“An apology would make him angrier, I assume?” She nodded. “Good, I have no intentions of ever apologizing to him. I’m here for you, and if any of them threaten you-” 

 

“You will do nothing.” She cut him off. “They’re afraid with good reason. I left as a Jedi and turned up with a former Sith Lord, and the Knights of Ren in tow. Anyone with half a brain would feel threatened.” 

 

“What exactly do you mean ‘you left as a Jedi’?” He asked her swiftly as the ship met the ground. 

 

“I mean that I have a purple lightsaber instead of something traditional. That I’m not a Jedi or a Sith, and that I’m still finding my place in all of this. I need to be off the ship first.” Rey took one look at his surprised face before turning on her heel, making it to the metal ramp before the knights. The inside of the ship was dreary, and she could hardly wait to feel the warmth of the sun on her face once more. 

 

Ben came to her side, and she peered up at him. He nodded, and pressed to button to lower the ramp. It lowered slowly, silent as it touched down and she made her way down the gray ramp. 

 

Finn and Poe stood at the forefront, the former’s eyes narrowing as she made her way down with seven dark side users behind her. She could see the fear in the crowd, the anticipation, and she saw a few waiting for the fight to break out. She could see fingers closing around the hilts of blasters, fists curling, eyes narrowing in anger, but she continued on anyways. 

 

“Rey, it’s good to see you.” Poe was smiling her way, even if he didn’t pull her in for a hug like he normally would have. “New lightsaber?” He asked. 

 

“New lightsaber.” She agreed. “Did they choose who would succeed Leia?” She asked quietly. “Is it possible I could speak to them with Ben?” 

 

“His name isn’t,” Poe put a hand in Finn’s face, shaking his head. 

 

“For the time being, it’s me.” Poe told her. “And yes, definitely, I’d like to know what we’re dealing with here.” He turned towards Ben, extending a hand that did not tremble. 

 

She breathed in relief when Ben shook his hand finally. “If it’s all the same, all of your crew members will know anyways. For as long as Rey is fighting against the First Order, so am I, as are the Knights of Ren.” 

 

She could hear the whispering in the crowd, mostly her name as they stared. “Alright.” Poe nodded. “The Resistance doesn’t trust you, Ren, but we need the help. One toe out of line and they will turn on you.” 

 

“Understood, General.” Poe winced at the title. “Let it be known if anyone informs a bounty hunter that Rey is here, I’ll kill them. Slowly.” 

 

“For God’s sake.” She muttered under her breath, seeing the only knight that was semi talkative with her smirking in a silent laugh. “Would it kill him to be a people person?” She grinned when the knight chuckled under his breath. 

 

“We’ve cleared out rooms near Rey’s so all of you would have a place to sleep. They’re farther from the rest of the Resistance. I’m sure you can understand why.” 

 

“I understand, Poe.” She spoke up once again. “Judging from the looks of the crowd, I very much doubt any of us will leave our rooms.” 

 

“Rey and I will stay in our quarters.” She could have broken his jaw for that comment, a comment he only made to set Finn off. And it worked magnificently as he blew up in her face. 

 

“Like hell you’re staying in the same room!” He exploded. “There is absolutely no need for her to have to sleep with a monster.” 

 

Rey glared at Ben, shaking her head and telling him to keep his comments to himself. “My sleeping arrangements are not a concern of the Resistance. They’re my concern, and I will do as I please.” Her voice remained steady, even as her closest friend grabbed her arm. 

 

His eyes were full of concern. “Has he influenced you somehow, Rey? This isn’t who you are. He killed Han.” 

 

Ben tensed at the name and she could remember reliving the moment through his memories, and how it hadn’t gone the way anyone believed. But that wasn’t her story to tell. “Please let go of me; you’re hurting me.” She jumped when each knight took a step toward Finn. “That will not be necessary here.” She snapped at them, watching them resume their former positions. 

 

“They won’t protect you, Rey. He’s here on his own agenda.” 

 

“I’m sorry, Finn.” She closed her hand around his. “It’s impossible to understand, I know.” He stepped away from her as if her touch burned him. “If it’s quite alright with you, I’d like to show them to their rooms.” 

  
  


The first night, she worried Finn would come into her room to start another argument. She had difficulty sleeping, and worked in the large space with her lightsaber. Ben sat on their bed, his back to the headboard, as she spun around the room, twirling the staff. The only sound was the low hum of her weapon. 

 

“You’re hurt.” He stated. 

 

“Because of Finn? Of course I am, but I can’t expect him to understand either.” She replied, setting her lightsaber on the bedside table. “I lied to him until a few days ago. I can only imagine how he feels.” 

 

“But you’ll stay anyways. He’ll come around eventually. The traitor doesn’t seem like the type to stay angry with you.” She didn’t bother pointing out that he was technically a traitor now as well. “He cares for you.” 

 

“As a friend.” 

 

“Are you sure about that? He doesn’t look at you as if you’re just his friend, Rey.” 

 

“I think he cared for like that once, but there’s a girl in his life now. Her name is Rose; she’s good for him.” She picked at the blanket. “I just wish he didn’t make me feel like I have to choose between the two of you. That’s what going to happen, I already know.”  Ben was silent as he stared ahead of him, eyes never coming to her. “Ben.” She whispered softly, crawling towards him. 

 

Rey climbed into his lap, straddling his waist. “I’m not going to leave you, no matter what Finn tries to say to me.” 

 

“I want to tell you to choose me over him every time, but,” 

 

She rolled her eyes, tilting his head up by his chin. “I already have, in the middle of a temple no less. I’m not leaving, and if he cares about me, we’ll find a way around it.” 

 

“And if you don’t?” He asked her, placing his hands on her hips. “It’s far more likely to happen, Rey.” 

 

“My answer doesn’t change based off of what my friends think of my choices. It’s already been made.” She pressed her lips against his, cutting off whatever his reply would have been. He reached up, undoing the ties in her hair and it fell around her shoulders. 

 

“I believe that.” He replied, and she leaned into him once more. 

 

* * *

 

It was three weeks later, that the Resistance needed their help, specifically the Knights of Ren. She wasn’t in their agenda for the ruthless mission, but she stood defiant in what Ben would have wanted and loudly declared she was going, orders given or not. 

 

Poe Dameron called them into the hangar, squeezed together with the rest of the Resistance, and delivered devastating news. The First Order had caught and taken several rebels hostage, but before they’d been taken aboard the enemy ships, a message was relayed. 

 

They had the means to destroy another planet, multiple if they couldn’t stop it in time. The worst case was they cracked under interrogation and gave up Endor, but they didn’t have the supplies, or the fuel to move across the system again. 

 

There were several in the crowd that would not look at her as they once had, as she held Ben’s hand in her own, their fingers entwined. “You want us to rescue the rebels, and escape before you destroy the planet.” Ben’s voice was empty. 

 

“We’ve done it once before.” Rey spoke up, looking across the room at Finn and Rose. “We can do it again.” Ben glared at her, and she could feel him reaching out to probe her mind, but she shut him out. He would yell later, rant that he wanted her where she was safe not waltzing herself into the First Order. 

 

“Can you and your knights get them out?” Poe asked, and the room fell silent. 

 

Rey thought absently that they had treated these men, and women, around her like the scum beneath their shoes. That now they needed their ruthless skill and tactics to save their own. She imagined the rebels were turning over the thought that they may not help. But she knew they would. 

 

“We can get around the planet. From the diagrams you’re showing me, it’s another Starkiller base. Hux has always wanted all the dramatics, but he’s shit at planning. The First Order is likely about to fall apart beneath him and he needs a grand gesture to show he can handle the job.” She eyed his smirk, and she knew he was thinking of what would follow if he were to get his hands on this rival he’d had during his time under Snoke. 

 

“There’s gotta be a weak spot where we can blow this thing up.” 

 

“There’s always a way to do that.” It was the first Finn had spoken around her in weeks, and he wasn’t glaring at her completely right this second. 

 

Ben stepped up to the hologram table, pinching the overlay of the diagrams and spreading it out. He looked through them, turning it over and then to the other side of the planet. He zoomed in on a spot before pointing. “It’s here.” 

 

“What if he’s lying?” Finn called, but there were no voices to rally behind him this time. 

 

“Then I would die along with your rebels, which is not something I plan to do.” His voice was flat as he looked over to Rey. “Tomorrow?” 

 

“Tomorrow.” Poe readily agreed. 

 

Ben took her by her hand, leading her out of the hangar and into their shared bedroom before slamming the door shut behind them. “I don’t want you there.” He bit out. “Hux is a psychopath. Even if he loses, he’d want to kill you to get back at me.” 

 

“I’m going with you. We’re better together.” She stared at him, as his fists curled at his side. “I want to help them, to save those rebels. I don’t want to wait here and wondering if you’re coming back.” 

 

“What the fuck do you mean? Of course I’m coming back. Rey, do you think I’d ever go back to the First Order?” 

 

“Absolutely not.” She ground out. “But you’re not the only one afraid to be left alone here. You could die tomorrow.” The thought of knowing what it felt like to be with him, even for the most mundane tasks, and then losing him shook her. Her eyes welled with tears that he brushed away. 

 

“I’d rather take that chance than have you there.” She shook her head as his hands came up to cup her face. Rey stood on the tips of her toes, stretching upwards to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him. Between kissing her back, she could hear his voice. “Need you to be safe.” 

 

She didn’t reply with a promise she knew could be broken. The worst could come to pass tomorrow. She could be killed in the midst of a battle, or he could fall before her eyes, but she couldn’t face the facts right this second. 

 

“The door doesn’t lock.” He mumbled against her, one arm locked around her waist. She nodded at his words, kissing down his neck and biting down. “I still want to talk about this.” 

 

“There’s nothing to discuss. I’ll be by your side to whatever end, but tonight I want to be with you. I want to memorize every inch of you.” He picked her up by the backs of her knees and carried her towards the bathroom. 

 

His hands were skimming along her sides, over the swell of her breasts from the side as she disrobed him. Rey flattened her palms over his chest, dragging his lips back to her own as he turned the water on. “Rey.” 

 

She found her back pressed against the wall as he leaned down to her, kissing across the tanned skin of her collarbone, and down her chest. He repeated her name once more, and her knees nearly buckled at the sight of him before her. He was telling her through their bond, removing the wall he’d always had up around her, and her lips parted in surprise. 

 

“I know.” She murmured as he lifted her legs over his shoulders, successfully pinning her between the wall and his mouth. “Me too.” She whispered against the water, latching onto his hair as his tongue slid against her for the first time. 

  
  


The two of them had spent the night tangled in one another, whispering against the other’s skin. He promised her as he traced her spine with his fingers, that he wouldn’t leave her. She’d shaken her head, and pointed out that if she were in danger, he’d make the mistake of sacrificing himself. 

 

Ben told her that wouldn’t be a mistake, that he had done some horrible things in his life, and if his one redeeming act could be to save the woman he loved, then that was okay. It didn’t do anything to ease the nerves in her stomach. 

* * *

 

The next morning she prepared the Falcon in the early morning hours, taking what could be her last look at the Resistance. “You’ve got that look on your face.” Finn spoke from behind her, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jacket. “You always look that way when you’re worried.” 

 

“Yeah.” She agreed, turning back to the Falcon. “Are you here to convince me to stay? It won’t work.” 

 

“Yeah, I got that much from the way you stare at Kylo Ren.” She froze, her grip becoming tighter on the wrench in her hand. “I don’t understand it, doubt I ever will. But I know I can’t watch you leave today after the way I’ve treated you.” 

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” She told him, tossing the wrench into the tool box. “Only General Leia knew.” 

 

“He hasn’t murdered anyone while he’s been here. He’s either playing a long game here, or he cares about you.” 

 

“It’s the second.” She replied, seeing Ben enter the hangar and then stop. “I’ve already forgiven you, Finn. Why are you here?” 

 

“I want to come with you.” She folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t understand it, but I can’t just trust him to keep you safe.” 

 

Ben walked towards them, knocking shoulders with Finn as the words tumbled out of his mouth. “Don’t screw anything up.” 

 

* * *

 

Ben’s words had tempted fate, a fact she already knew. A mission like this, it always felt like it could go bad, but this one went worse. She and Finn, accompanied by the only knight that actually liked her had gotten separated from the others. 

 

In the middle of the base they had been ambushed by stormtroopers. Rey had attempted to cut her way through to Ben, but he had yelled for his Knight to take her out of there, to drag her if he had to. 

 

Rey had bitten into her lip so hard, it broke the skin as she turned on her heel, tearing a path through the dark corridors. Bile threatened to rise, as she repeated to herself that Ben was more than capable of protecting himself.  

 

“Get your fucking head down.” Carder hissed, grabbing Finn by the back of his jacket and tossing him to the floor. “Were you actually a stormtrooper, or was that some lie? Your self preservation skills are awful.” 

 

Under different circumstances, she would have smiled. 

 

As it was, not only were they likely on the opposite side of the base as Ben and the other knights, they were also backed into a corner. Stormtroopers were patrolling the corridor, and she whispered they could have taken them only to have a hand shoved in her face. 

 

“Follow them.” Carder hissed. “They’re going to move the prisoners because we are here. They’re trying to draw us out.” 

 

“Then we should go the other way, find a way to ambush them.” Finn argued, and the knight’s patience wore dangerously thin. 

 

Rey could feel his blue eyes narrowing on her, through his helmet. “It’s Hux, isn’t it? He wants Ben for himself.” Carder nodded and she spun on her heel, moving down the hallway. 

 

Finn didn’t breathe a word as her hand moved to her lightsaber, ready to ignite and carve a path straight into a trap. She caught his nod as she moved down the adjoining hallway with Carder directly behind her, his weapon already there. 

 

He’d been right of course. The rebels were being led down the corridor by stormtroopers, who raised their blasters at the sight of them. “Traitors!” One of them shouted as she looked to the knight beside her. 

 

“Take the right side.” He muttered, and she nodded. He moved forward, literally cutting through the beginning of the enemy before they broke apart. “Get the fuck out of here.” He growled at the rebels, driving his lightsaber into the chest of the next stormtrooper who moved to close to him. 

 

Finn was yelling something she couldn’t understand, but she saw them. 

 

Dozens more stormtroopers pouring in from both sides, cutting off their escape. She looked from the knight at her side to the ginger man standing at the front of the army behind him. His lip was curled in distaste and she pointed the end of her weapon at him as Carder moved to cover her back. 

 

“You must be the scavenger whore.” 

 

The knight at her back tensed, and she could feel his anger washing over both of them. “It’s not time.” She whispered to him. “You must be General Hux. Unfortunately I’ve heard much about you, including your failures.” 

  
  


Hux took every opportunity to knock her feet out from under her, or to throw her to the ground. The heel of his boot connected with her rib cage, a sick crack sounding beside her broken moan of pain. “Ren will come for you.” He said angrily. “He’s always let his feelings cloud his judgement.” 

 

Rey spit on his boots, watching his hollow cheeks redden in anger. Even with her inability to harness the Force, she was still rising against the First Order.  “I’m sure he will.” She replied, turning away from the sight of him.    
  


To her side, Finn looked worse than her. As they had been brought up the hallway, stormtroopers regarded him viciously, and he was still wheezing. She could only look at him, feeling the darkness of anger swelling within her. 

 

The room was open. Ben wouldn’t have a place to hide for the perfect moment. If he wouldn’t come, she’d have preferred that. Against such impossible odds, she couldn’t hope for survival. If he got out of this though, he would live, and she would be happy with that end. Except whether he called himself Kylo Ren, or Ben Solo he wasn’t leaving her behind. 

 

Not in this life or the next. He had that possessive streak about him. She’s heard it the quiet nights through their bond, through his nightmares that woke him up. If he had a fear, it was this. Her being confined against her will, completely sealed off from him. 

 

He wouldn’t stand for it. He’d have barged in here, lightsaber ignited and slaughter the First Order if that’s what it took. She knew it was true, had seen the evidence of it first hand, how he could be the cruel man she’d first met. If she’d followed the path of the Jedi, she’d have been weary of the feelings that led to the dark side. 

 

Only she wasn’t afraid of his anger, or even her own. 

 

“Or has he realized you were nothing but a scavenger and left you behind?” 

 

Rey looked at the ginger haired man. “You’re afraid.” His eyes flashed as she spoke the words. “You’re afraid I’m as ruthless as him.” She challenged, her voice hard, her arms straining against the binds. He fumbled, almost tripping over his own boots as he stepped away from her. “I can be, especially against a coward  like you.” 

 

“You called Ren a monster, scavenger. Or did that change when he fucked you?” His lip was curled, his eyes bright at his obvious insult. There was a flicker of delight in his eyes as he realized his accusation was true, just as her eyes narrowed. 

 

“It changed when he cut your precious Snoke down like a tree, like he was nothing.” The General’s eyes widened, his nostrils flared. “You’re scared I’ll get free and run you through with my lightsaber. Not to worry, I don’t need my weapon to destroy you. Ben doesn’t need to see you either.” She’d yanked on the strand of his self-doubt, unraveling it until his weaknesses were before her. And while he tried in vain to disguise his fears, the remainder of the Knights of Ren poured into the room, their master at the forefront. 

 

There was a hard look about him. She saw it immediately, the way he was staring at her, as if he were in awe of her-

 

-He’d seen her brutal words to Hux, she realized with a thud in her chest. 

 

“Let these rebels go, General.” He growled, his grip on his weapon tight. “You don’t want them. You wanted to lure me out.” 

 

“It wasn’t hard. You followed the Jedi whore like I knew you would.” He was laughing, his pale, lanky fingers curled around his blaster. 

 

“I’m not a Jedi.” She grumbled, watching in terror as Ben didn’t pull his lightsaber from his belt. “What are you doing?” 

 

“I’m suggesting a trade, General. The rebels and my knights leave this base, and I’ll stay. Willingly.” He sounded so sure of himself, so confident that he had an alternate plan. It was as his hand fell away from the hilt of his lightsaber that panic flooded her. 

 

She screamed. “No!” He looked to her with a sad look in his eyes. “You can’t fucking do this, Ben. You can’t” Her voice cracked under the strain of her voice. Hux laughed behind her, planting his foot in the middle of her back, directly on her spine. “You made me a promise.” 

 

“Step away from her, Hux. I’m saying goodbye to her.” Ben’s voice was harsh, and she heard the squeaking of the boots behind her. “Touch her again, and you’ll find yourself with Snoke in the pitiful life that comes next for you.” 

 

Ben kneeled in front of her, dark tendrils of hair falling into his eyes. “Don’t do this.” She told him, her eyes welling up. “You have to come back with me.” 

 

He only shook his head, slipping his glove from his right hand to brush his fingers against her skin one last time. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be, Rey. but you don’t get to die here today.” She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling his cool lips press against her forehead. He bent to whisper in her ear. “The binds will come undone.” 

 

“I love you too.” She said out loud, faking what his whisper truly was. It wasn’t only for the strategy; it was the terror that had ahold of her. The thought that this could be the only time she ever told him out loud. 

 

He stood from her, looking from her to the rebels surrounding her. 

 

His confusion reached her as he mulled over her words. A string of words that had his heart in a vice in his chest. She knew of his doubts, of how he’d doubted she could ever love a monster. 

 

It shook her, knowing he had the smallest resemblance of a plan. It cut her to feel that he would have sacrificed himself for not only her, but the rebels she wanted to save. 

 

Everything happened quickly. 

 

Ben stepped towards General Hux, raising his hand and alternating it slightly. The metal binds that had been chafing against her wrists were open, as were the ones around her ankles and she was on her feet. 

 

She watched absently as the Knights of Ren lunged at the stormtroopers, who had never stood a chance against them. Rey sliced through Finn’s shackles, hauling him to his feet. Carder rose to his feet, tilting his head towards his own leader. 

 

The dull, black blaster was in the General’s hand, his skeleton like fingers gripping it dangerously. She bit her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as she inched towards them. The blaster was inches from the bridge of Ben’s nose. 

 

Reaching her hand out, she yanked the blaster through the air, the heavyweight landing against her palm.  “We have to leave.” She growled at Ben, spinning on her heel and trusting he would stop acting like a martyr so the Resistance could blow this base out of galaxy. “Finish it.” She stalked towards Finn, her left arm slung low around her rib cage in an attempt to apply pressure,  hauling his arm over her shoulder to carry his weight. 

* * *

  
  


The mission had been a success. She watched as the rebels disembarked their ship, sprinting across the tarmac into the open arms of their loved ones. Rey’s eyes alternated between Finn and Poe, who eyed the man at her side while whispering to each other. 

 

Rey took note those who had looked down on her in disdain, or to the Knights of Ren in fear, no longer glared at them. She caught the glimpse of a rare sight, a Resistance member thanking Carder, who could only nod stiffly. 

 

Beyond the heartwarming revelations, it was also back on Endor that she finally lost her temper. They had escaped from the First Order, and it was as they left the system that the Resistance destroyed the base. Rey had stayed with Finn while they looked him over for last injuries, but he was persistent in the fact that there was another place she needed to be. 

 

Ben had waited in the room they’d shared for three weeks, rising to his feet from the foot of the bed when she slammed the door behind her. “You promised me.” Her voice was undeniably fashioned into a scream, a scratchy sound against the silence of the room. “We promised each other we wouldn’t leave the other and you think you can sacrifice yourself?” 

 

“I came back with you!” He yelled in return. 

 

“You just as easily would have given yourself up to that ginger bastard so I would be safe! Don’t you dare lie to me about it because I felt it.” 

 

“I would die for you. Do you think I wouldn’t let the First Order do whatever they wanted if it meant you were safe?” His voice was hard, his fingers rough as they dug into her hips to pull her forward. 

 

She grabbed him by the edges of his jacket, pressing herself to him. “I’m furious with you.” She growled. “Absolutely, all encompassing,” 

 

He cut her off by picking her up and pressing her to the mattress. “You’re pissed? Good. 

You’re uninhibited when you’re angry.” He smirked. “I’m not sorry at all. I’d do it again if it was the same.”

 

“Don’t you dare ever do anything like that to me again.” Her voice was a broken whisper as she stared up at him. “To think the first time I ever told you I loved you would be the last, it broke my heart more than leaving you did.” 

 

He nodded, leaning down to brush his lips against hers. “I’d have died happy.” 

 

“That’s fantastic for you.” She bit out, her anger melting away as he looked down at her. “Say it outloud, Ben.” She nudged him, curling his fingers in his shirt. 

 

“Don’t actions speak louder than words?” Rey glared at him, and he nipped her bottom lip. “I love you.” 

 

Her lips melted into the curve of a smile. 

 

There was no way for her to know what came next, if the next villain was just around the corner, or if she’d ever get all of her questions answered. If it didn’t pan out that way, she imagined it would be okay as Ben slid between her thighs. 

 

It had been a long time that she’d been without a home. She had always thought it was a place, not a person. 

 

Ben smiled against her lips as she whispered to him that she was home.  

  
  
  



End file.
